OCTOBER 25, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Challenges of Sports Return in 2020. Impact: If sports hadn't returned, the couch potato population could have overtaken the world, leading to an epic rise in potato-related fitness fads. We might have ended up with a reality show called 'Dancing with the Couch Potatoes.'. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'empty arenas' was once just a metaphor? After 2020, it became a literal description of every sports fan's living room..
• Headline: Apple, Google and Internet Control Deal. Impact: This antitrust complaint sparked a chain reaction where tech giants began hoarding their secrets like squirrels in winter. In a future dystopia, we might find ourselves negotiating with rogue AIs that learned everything from these partnerships.. Fact: Fun fact: The secretive partnership was so secret that even the shareholders didn't know they were shareholders!.
• Headline: Historic Appointment of Cardinal Wilton Gregory. Impact: Wilton Gregory's appointment as the first African-American Cardinal may have set off a historical domino effect, leading to a future where the Vatican finally embraces modernity, resulting in the first papal tweet: 'Pope Francis is feeling blessed!'. Fact: Did you know the last time the Catholic Church made history like this, it was over who could whip the best holy water? Spoiler: It was a tie..
• Headline: How Matthew Warchus Generated ‘Heat’ in an Empty Theater. Impact: Matthew Warchus's innovative approach could inspire a future where all theaters are completely empty, and everyone just watches live-streams from their beds. 'Theater in Pajamas' might just become the next big trend.. Fact: Did you know that before live-streaming became a thing, the only way to get 'heat' in a theater was to crank up the AC and pray for a heatwave outside?.