OCTOBER 20, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Biden's Polling Advantage Over Trump. Impact: If Biden's lead had turned into a landslide victory, it may have triggered a nationwide trend of political leaders prioritizing public health over social media popularity. This could have led to a world where TikTok dances were replaced by actual policy discussions. Oh, the humanity!. Fact: Did you know that statistically, polls are about as reliable as a fortune cookie? I mean, who wouldn't want to base their future on a piece of paper with a fortune that says, 'You will face a difficult decision soon'?.
• Headline: Innovation in Home Spaces During Pandemic. Impact: The home garage became the new Silicon Valley, leading to a future where every driveway is filled with failed experiments instead of cars. Eventually, all garages were declared national monuments, and engineers were revered as modern-day wizards.. Fact: Did you know that some of the most successful companies started in garages? The only thing standing between a startup and a billion-dollar valuation is a good Wi-Fi connection and a lot of caffeine..
• Headline: Texas Home Blends Work and Art. Impact: The renovation of that almost-lake house sparked a global movement where homes were designed less for aesthetics and more for Zoom calls and Instagram posts, leading to a world where no room was safe from the glare of a ring light.. Fact: Did you know that multifunctional spaces are a sign of the times? Soon, we'll be living in closets just to save space for our 47 different hobbies. Who needs a lake when you can have a laundry room that doubles as a yoga studio?.
• Headline: U.S. Accuses Google of Illegally Protecting Monopoly. Impact: If the government succeeds in breaking up Google's monopoly, it could lead to the emergence of a dozen new search engines, each more obscure than the last—think 'DuckDuckGoat' and 'Ask Jeeves Again.'. Fact: Did you know that monopolies are just like that one friend who always hogs the spotlight? They rarely share the stage, and when they do, it’s usually just to promote their latest self-help book..
• Headline: Apple iPhone 12 Review: Superfast Speed, if You Can Find It. Impact: The chaotic rollout of 5G could create a future where people are far more interested in conspiracy theories about their microwave's ability to spy on them than in the actual benefits of new technology. Welcome to the Age of Distrust.. Fact: Did you know that the iPhone 12 was so fast that some users thought they accidentally traveled to the future? Spoiler: They just forgot to charge it before sending it into the time warp of 5G..