AUGUST 28, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump's Law and Order Campaign Strategy. Impact: Trump's crusade for law and order inspired a nationwide trend of people taking to the streets more than ever, proving that sometimes the only way to combat chaos is to create even more chaos. Who knew his campaign slogan would become a rallying cry for protest planners?. Fact: Did you know that 'law and order' is just a fancy way of saying 'let's have a really big police party'?.
• Headline: Kenosha Killings and Police Support Debate. Impact: The lionization of Rittenhouse shifted public perception around vigilante justice, leading to a future where every neighborhood watch group upgraded their 'watch' to 'shoot first, ask questions later.' Thanks, social media!. Fact: Funny how 'support for officers' turns into 'support for vigilantes' when you mix in a little social media drama..
• Headline: Hurricane Laura's Devastation in Louisiana. Impact: Hurricane Laura's destructive path not only reshaped Louisiana's landscape but also paved the way for countless memes about the 'new normal' of climate change disasters. Because who doesn’t love a good natural disaster pun?. Fact: Hurricanes are just nature's way of reminding us that Mother Earth is really, really angry. Can you blame her?.
• Headline: College Is Everywhere Now. Impact: The spread of college students to off-the-wall locations sparked an existential crisis among traditional universities, forcing them to wonder if they should just start offering degrees in 'Remote Living' or 'Instagram Influencing.'. Fact: Did you know that 'off-campus housing' now includes exotic locales? Your degree can be earned poolside with a piña colada if you believe hard enough!.
• Headline: In Bid for TikTok, Microsoft Flexes Its Power in Washington. Impact: Microsoft's successful TikTok bid solidified their role as the tech overlord, leading to a future where every tech giant believes they can just buy their way into social relevance—next stop: a YouTube reality show starring Tim Cook!. Fact: Microsoft flexing its power in Washington is like watching a turtle trying to outpace a rabbit in a race. Spoiler alert: it’s a slow and confusing spectacle..