AUGUST 6, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Biden's Convention Plans Disrupted by Pandemic. Impact: Biden's canceled trip sent ripples across the political landscape, leading to a rise in virtual handshakes and awkward Zoom calls. In 2040, politicians are still trying to perfect their 'Can you hear me?' faces as they campaign from home.. Fact: The last time a presidential campaign went entirely virtual, it was called ‘The Internet’ and nobody got elected. Sad!.
• Headline: McConnell Faces Challenges in Relief Negotiations. Impact: McConnell's isolation during stimulus talks caused him to develop an unfortunate affinity for interpretive dance, which he later showcased on TikTok, leading to a viral moment that distracted Congress from actually passing any legislation.. Fact: Negotiating with McConnell can be like trying to talk to a brick wall; at least the wall doesn’t have to pause for dramatic effect!.
• Headline: White Customers, Black Fabrics. Impact: The trend of mainstream customers flocking to Black-owned businesses inadvertently sparked an 'African Print Renaissance' that led to a global fashion week where everyone wore the same patterns, creating a collective identity crisis in the fashion world.. Fact: In the future, historians argue over whether the fabric inspired unity or just a lot of awkwardly matching outfits at parties..
• Headline: A Family Cries ‘Justice for Hannah.’ Will Its Rural Town Listen?. Impact: The call for justice in Hannah's case became a catalyst for rural activism, leading to the creation of a new movement: 'Justice for Quiet Towns,' where citizens demand their voices be heard—preferably with a megaphone and a marching band.. Fact: Rural activism is like a secret club: you only find out about it when someone accidentally stumbles into the meeting while looking for the nearest cornfield..