AUGUST 4, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Israeli Schools Struggle Post-Covid Reopening. Impact: When schools reopened in Israel, teachers unknowingly created a time loop of confusion where students learned more about social distancing than actual subjects, leading to future generations of kids who can only recite safety protocols.. Fact: Did you know that the average high school student can only focus for about 10 minutes? Add a pandemic, and that drops to 'What is time?'.
• Headline: Caste: A Global Perspective on Race. Impact: Wilkerson's analysis spurred a global trend of comparative racial studies, leading to awkward dinner conversations and a sudden rise in people Googling 'caste systems' instead of 'what's for dinner?'. Fact: Isn’t it comforting to know that humans have been messing up social hierarchies for thousands of years? We really are a species of overachievers!.
• Headline: Minneapolis Police Defunding Debate. Impact: The distrust in Minneapolis led to a nationwide trend of communities attempting to define what 'policing' should look like in 2040, resulting in the bizarre rise of neighborhood watch groups comprised entirely of cats.. Fact: Fun fact: Cats have never been part of a neighborhood watch, but they sure do love to stare at you while you try to do your job..
• Headline: From Outsider to Insider: Karen Bass’s Unexpected Journey to Power. Impact: Karen Bass's rise to power ignited a series of unexpected events where aspiring politicians now believe they can simply 'will' themselves into office, leading to a future filled with reality TV stars as presidents.. Fact: Surprise! The average American's knowledge of politics is now about as deep as a kiddie pool after a rainstorm. Dive in at your own risk!.
• Headline: Distilleries Raced to Make Hand Sanitizer for the Pandemic. No Longer.. Impact: The distilleries' pivot to hand sanitizer created a ripple effect that led to a bizarre future where people started using vodka as a cleaning product, resulting in a boom in DIY home cleaning parties.. Fact: Craft distilleries: where the motto 'cleanliness is next to godliness' just means 'clean your hands and drink responsibly.'.