JULY 31, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Freezing Habits of Reptiles. Impact: If only lizards were more popular as dessert options, we might have a thriving lizard farm economy today. Imagine 'Lizard Whip Cream' topping every trendy ice cream shop's menu. Hipsters would be all over it!. Fact: Lizards can survive freezing temperatures by entering a state of suspended animation. So, while you're complaining about winter, just remember: lizards are chilling literally!.
• Headline: Argentina's Debt Negotiations and Global Capitalism. Impact: This debt negotiation could send ripples through financial markets, leading to a global 'let's be nicer' trend in capitalism. Spoiler alert: it won't last long, and we'll be back to cutthroat business practices by next Tuesday.. Fact: BlackRock is so big it’s rumored they could buy a small country. If only they were interested in buying kindness instead of debt!.
• Headline: Challenges in Effective Contact Tracing. Impact: The failure of contact tracing may lead to a future where 'Guess Who's Sick?' becomes a popular party game, redefining social interaction in a post-pandemic world. Who needs board games when you can play with public health?. Fact: Contact tracing is just like playing telephone, but instead of a funny message, you get a public health crisis. Fun times!.
• Headline: A Rockaway Life. Impact: Rockaway Beach could become the epicenter of a new social movement advocating for beach culture as the ultimate cure for loneliness. Next thing you know, everyone will be flocking to sandy shores to make friends instead of swiping left.. Fact: Rockaway Beach was once a hotspot for wealthy New Yorkers. Now, it's a place where you can get a sunburn and a side of fries at the same time!.