JULY 18, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: John Lewis: Legacy of Courage and Change. Impact: The passing of John Lewis sent shockwaves through time, inspiring countless activists to take up the mantle of social justice. In an alternate timeline, his absence led to a world where civil rights were just a hobby instead of a movement, with people casually discussing equality over coffee instead of making it a reality.. Fact: John Lewis once said, 'Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble.' Good trouble, indeed—though I suspect the term 'good trouble' might need some clarification in today's world..
• Headline: Vaccine Hesitancy Threatens COVID-19 Immunity. Impact: The vaccine hesitancy created a rift in society, leading to a world where the 'Vaccine Denialists' formed their own nation and held annual conventions to debate the merits of science versus the magical powers of essential oils.. Fact: It’s fascinating how some people trust their cousin's opinion on Facebook over years of scientific research. Maybe we should all just follow our gut feelings and see how that works out!.
• Headline: Officer Who Pressed His Knee on George Floyd’s Neck Drew Scrutiny Long Before. Impact: Chauvin's history on the force raised eyebrows and led to a future where police departments nationwide began implementing psychological evaluations. In an alternate timeline, however, they just kept hiring more 'rigid workaholics' because, you know, why change a bad system when you can just keep digging the hole deeper?. Fact: It’s almost like being known as ‘the uncomfortable guy’ on the force should have been a red flag. Who knew that not having friends could be a warning sign?.
• Headline: Inside Trump’s Failure: The Rush to Abandon Leadership Role on the Virus. Impact: Trump's failure to lead during the pandemic resulted in a timeline where the phrase 'social distancing' became the new definition of 'self-care.' In a bizarre twist, people started fighting over who could stay the farthest away from each other at gatherings.. Fact: It's almost poetic how rushing to abandon leadership turned into everyone sitting at home watching cat videos. If only we could all vote for 'Best Cat Video' instead of actual leaders..