JUNE 24, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: NJ Officer's Troubling History Across Departments. Impact: This New Jersey officer's journey through nine departments is like a police-themed version of the 'Where's Waldo?' game, except Waldo is just a guy with a badge and a penchant for misconduct. The ripple effect? A new reality show called 'Cops: The Musical' where officers sing about their ability to dodge accountability.. Fact: Did you know that in New Jersey, they actually have a 'Musical Chairs of Misconduct' tournament? The prize? A lifetime supply of police badges that nobody can take away!.
• Headline: China’s Patriotic Youth Question National Loyalty. Impact: The identity crisis of China's 'Little Pinks' could lead to a new global trend: the 'Expat Rethink Movement.' Who knew that being trapped abroad could inspire a generation to reconsider their blind nationalism? Next stop, a hipster coffee shop in Berlin where they sip on lattes while pondering the meaning of life.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Little Pinks' is what they call themselves, but 'Little Pinks and Confused' might be more accurate after this whole ordeal..
• Headline: Algorithm Misjudgment Leads to False Arrest. Impact: This wrongful arrest might just spark a revolution against algorithms, leading to a future where we trust our instincts over technology. Imagine a world where robots are just there to serve your coffee, not decide who goes to jail. A win for humanity, but a loss for sci-fi movies.. Fact: Did you know that algorithms are like teenage boys? They think they know everything, but they often mess things up in the most spectacular fashion!.
• Headline: A Minneapolis Neighborhood Vowed to Check Its Privilege. It’s Already Being Tested.. Impact: This neighborhood's commitment to checking their privilege is going to spark a nationwide trend where every suburban block has a 'Privilege Checkpoint.' Next thing you know, they'll be issuing badges for 'Woke Warriors' who pass the test. Because nothing says progress like bureaucratic oversight.. Fact: Did you know that privilege-checking is the new neighborhood watch? Instead of watching for crime, they’re just watching each other to make sure nobody gets too comfortable..
• Headline: From China to Germany, the World Learns to Live With the Coronavirus. Impact: The world learning to live with the coronavirus might just lead to future historians dubbing this era 'The Great Adaptation.' In a few decades, expect a Netflix series titled 'Survivor: Pandemic Edition' where the last group standing gets to decide the fate of humanity.. Fact: Did you know that the coronavirus has become the world's least wanted travel companion? Everyone's trying to avoid it like it's an ex at a party!.