JUNE 22, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Facebook's Complicated Relationship with Trump. Impact: Zuckerberg's alliance with Trump created a ripple that led to every cat video being overshadowed by political memes. In an alternate timeline, this alliance sparks a social media war that ends with everyone using carrier pigeons for communication.. Fact: Did you know that if Facebook were a country, it would have the third largest population in the world? Makes you wonder if it should get its own seat at the United Nations..
• Headline: Barr's Tensions with White House Explained. Impact: Barr's missteps may have inadvertently led to a future where every attorney general is just a meme, with 'Oops! I Did It Again' playing in the background during press conferences.. Fact: Did you know that 'miscues' is just a fancy way of saying 'oopsies'? It’s like when your toddler spills juice and you call it an 'artistic expression'..
• Headline: Bradley Sylve's Resilient Football Journey. Impact: Bradley Sylve's dashed dreams led to a worldwide shortage of inspirational sports documentaries. This caused an unexpected boom in motivational cat videos as the new go-to for inspiration.. Fact: Did you know that Hurricane Katrina was so devastating, it even made the weather feel bad about itself? It’s the only storm known to apologize..
• Headline: 11 Things About Naomi Campbell. Impact: Naomi Campbell's serene demeanor has inspired countless reality TV stars to rethink their life choices, leading to a future where influencers are required to meditate before posting.. Fact: Did you know that Naomi Campbell was once banned from the runway for throwing a phone at her assistant? Talk about runway drama!.
• Headline: What’s Gotten Into the Price of Cheese?. Impact: The cheese price spike sent shockwaves through the dairy industry, leading to a black market for gouda and a secret society of cheese enthusiasts planning heists that only involve artisanal cheeses.. Fact: Did you know that cheese is actually a form of currency in some parts of the world? So, if you ever find yourself broke, just start trading cheddar..