JUNE 9, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Revisiting Police Budgets and Accountability. Impact: If only politicians had considered police budgets before protests, we might have skipped straight to the 'Robot Police' phase of society. But no, here we are, reshuffling the deck while the Titanic sinks.. Fact: Did you know that politicians often need a crowd with pitchforks before they remember they're supposed to listen to the people? It's like a bad sitcom that never ends..
• Headline: Tracking Wildlife with Space Technology. Impact: Imagine a future where animals have their own Twitter accounts, tweeting out their daily adventures. The downside? Expect a surge in veganism as people start to relate a little too much with their dinner.. Fact: Did you know that if animals could talk, they would probably complain about us tracking them? 'Hey, I didn't sign up for this! Where's my privacy?'.
• Headline: George Floyd: Legacy of Hope and Change. Impact: George Floyd's tragedy sparked a global movement, leading to everything from policy changes to awkward conversations about race at family dinners. Who knew a moment of horror could lead to a decade of reckoning?. Fact: Did you know that George Floyd's story became a catalyst for change, but it’s a shame it took such a profound loss to wake people up? History really is a sarcastic teacher..
• Headline: As Diners Flock to Delivery Apps, Restaurants Fear for Their Future. Impact: The rise of delivery apps could lead to a future where chefs are replaced by drones and food is delivered by robots. Next step: robots arguing over who gets tipped.. Fact: Did you know that delivery apps promise convenience, but they’re really just a fancy way of saying ‘your food is now getting cold while you wait for a stranger to bring it to you’?.
• Headline: Testing Nursing Home Workers Can Help Stop Coronavirus. But Who Should Pay?. Impact: Debating who pays for nursing home worker testing might just lead to a future where healthcare becomes a game of hot potato—everyone wants to pass the buck until someone gets burned.. Fact: Did you know that healthcare is the only industry where everyone argues about who SHOULD pay, while everyone else is just trying to stay alive? No pressure, right?.