MAY 10, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Challenges of Reopening NYC After Crisis. Impact: The convoluted reopening process led to a new trend in urban planning where cities now prioritize open-air karaoke bars over public transportation. Who doesn’t want to belt out show tunes while dodging a subway rat?. Fact: Did you know that New York City was once the capital of the United States? Now it seems to be competing for the title of 'Most Creative Excuse for Not Reopening.'.
• Headline: Meat Plant Reopenings Amid COVID-19 Concerns. Impact: The meat plant showdown sparked a nationwide debate between animal rights activists and essential workers, ultimately leading to a new reality show: 'Survivor: Meat Plant Edition.' Who will outlast the pandemic and the pork chops?. Fact: Fun fact: The average American eats about 50 pounds of pork per year. Who knew it would come with a side of ethical dilemmas?.
• Headline: Daniel Dae Kim Discusses Asian-American History. Impact: Kim's documentary inadvertently inspired a social media challenge where people share their family histories, leading to a surge in online genealogy research and a sudden spike in awkward family reunions. Thanks, COVID!. Fact: Did you know that anti-Asian sentiment has been a recurring theme in American history? Apparently, some folks just can't get enough of their own cringe-worthy past..
• Headline: Concert to Test Whether America Is Ready to Rock Again. Impact: The Arkansas concert became a litmus test for future events, resulting in a bizarre era where all concerts are required to come with a disclaimer: 'Attendees must sign a waiver and provide a negative COVID test, along with an explanation of their favorite dad joke.'. Fact: Did you know that the last major concert before the pandemic featured a band called 'The Quarantine Quartet'? I guess they were just a bit too ahead of their time..
• Headline: Questions of Bias in Covid-19 Treatment Add to the Mourning for Black Families. Impact: The revelation about bias in treatment led to a nationwide reckoning on healthcare disparities, sparking a movement for universal healthcare that would ultimately result in free ice cream for all—because who doesn’t love a scoop of social justice?. Fact: Fun fact: The CDC's recommendations led to the creation of a new medical specialty: 'Biasology.' It’s the art of spotting unfairness while holding a stethoscope. Quite the lucrative field!.