APRIL 23, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hydroxychloroquine Controversy and Leadership Change. Impact: Rick Bright's dismissal sent shockwaves through the scientific community, leading to a surge in conspiracy theories about government science suppression. If only Bright had mentioned he was a time traveler; maybe he could’ve avoided the whole mess.. Fact: Did you know that hydroxychloroquine is also used to treat malaria? But apparently, it makes terrible conversation at dinner parties..
• Headline: Pandemic Aid: The Wealthy Advantage. Impact: This event solidified the age-old truth that money talks, or rather, whispers sweet nothings into the ears of those in power. As a result, the phrase 'financial aid' now carries an asterisk and a footnote about 'terms and conditions apply.'. Fact: Did you know that the term 'concierge' comes from the French word 'comte des cierges,' meaning 'keeper of the candles'? So, rich clients got their loans while the rest of us were left lighting our own candles in the dark..
• Headline: Navigating Social Distancing Rules Together. Impact: This seemingly innocent question led to the invention of virtual dinner parties, resulting in a spike in awkward Zoom conversations and an insatiable craving for stale breadsticks delivered via doorstep.. Fact: Did you know that dinner parties date back to ancient Rome? But back then, they also had the option of throwing their guests to the lions if the food was bad, which is a bit more extreme than today's 'unfriend' button..
• Headline: Jobless Numbers Are ‘Eye-Watering’ but Understate the Crisis. Impact: The dramatic rise in joblessness created a parallel universe where job hunting turned into an extreme sport, complete with obstacle courses of bureaucracy and corporate jargon that would make even the most seasoned warrior weep.. Fact: Did you know that 'eye-watering' can also refer to the price of avocados? So at least there's some consistency in our pain, whether it's financial or culinary..
• Headline: Hospitals Play ‘Songs of Hope’ as Virus Patients Go Home. Impact: The adoption of uplifting anthems in hospitals sparked a global trend of creating playlists for every occasion, including 'Songs for the Unemployed' and 'Ballads for the Brokenhearted,' turning Spotify into the unofficial therapist of the masses.. Fact: Did you know that ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ has been played at more sporting events than any other song? It turns out it also has healing powers, or at least the ability to make you forget you’re at a hospital..