APRIL 19, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Stephen King's Unsettling New Release. Impact: Stephen King's ability to haunt our dreams has led to a collective societal insomnia, resulting in more coffee consumption, which in turn has fueled the rise of artisanal coffee shops. You're welcome, hipsters.. Fact: Did you know that Stephen King once got stuck in a book signing line for his own book? Talk about an existential crisis!.
• Headline: Charlie Kirk's Use of Coronavirus in Politics. Impact: Charlie Kirk's antics may have started a trend where political figures use misinformation as their secret weapon, leading to a future where politicians are more like TikTok influencers than actual leaders. Welcome to the future!. Fact: Did you know that 'Cudgel' was actually a medieval weapon? Guess some people just can't let go of the past..
• Headline: String Quartet Faces Crisis from Pandemic. Impact: The demise of this string quartet inadvertently inspired a viral TikTok dance trend where people pretend to play instruments, leading to a resurgence of classical music appreciation—ironically, through poorly choreographed moves.. Fact: Fun fact: The average string quartet can play a mean rendition of 'Happy Birthday'—if only they had the chance!.
• Headline: Don’t Mention the Virus! And Other Marketing Tips. Impact: Brands avoiding the mention of the virus paved the way for an entire industry of 'feel-good' marketing, where companies pretend everything is fine while selling overpriced candles. Spoiler alert: it's not fine.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'Just don't mention it' has been the unofficial motto of marketing departments since the dawn of time?.
• Headline: That Face Shield Might Have Been Made in a Party Space. Impact: The transformation of a party space into a PPE factory shows how quickly society can pivot, leading to a future where your next rave might just come with a side of hand sanitizer and face masks. Party on, pandemic style!. Fact: Did you know that the meatpacking district was once known for its, well, meat? Now it's more about 'meat'ing safety standards!.