APRIL 9, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Resurgence of Phone Communication. Impact: In a twist of fate, the resurgence of phone calls leads to the invention of 'The Whispering Device' in 2030, where people can hear each other's thoughts from across the globe. Unfortunately, it's mostly awkward silences and unsolicited advice.. Fact: Did you know that in 1995, humans had to actually talk on the phone without emojis? Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: Wealth Gap in Coronavirus Resource Allocation. Impact: This event sparked the 'Great Supplies Heist of 2021', where poor nations banded together to stage a dramatic heist for medical supplies, leading to a global reality show that no one asked for but everyone watched.. Fact: It’s fascinating how the rich countries thought they could hoard supplies. It’s almost as if they believed they were in a game of Monopoly... and forgot about community chess..
• Headline: New York's Rental Market Upheaval. Impact: This mass exodus inadvertently leads to the creation of 'The Great Roommate Exchange Program' in 2025, where people trade roommates like Pokémon cards. Spoiler: Charizard is still the rarest find.. Fact: Fun fact: New York’s rental market has always been a game of musical chairs, except the music never starts and the chairs are always broken..
• Headline: ‘A Tragedy Is Unfolding’: Inside New York’s Virus Epicenter. Impact: The devastation in Queens leads to the establishment of a memorial that becomes a site for annual reflection on public health, inadvertently inspiring the annual 'Queens Health Festival' with a surprisingly catchy theme song.. Fact: It’s a little-known fact that Queens has been the epicenter of many things, including the world's largest slice of pizza and the most diverse food options. Truly, a place of contrasts..
• Headline: ‘Sudden Black Hole’ for the Economy With Millions More Unemployed. Impact: This economic collapse causes an unexpected surge in the gig economy, leading to a world where everyone is a part-time dog walker, and the phrase 'I’m just doing this until I find a real job' becomes the new normal.. Fact: Did you know that 'unemployment’ is just a fancy term for ‘time to finally binge-watch that show everyone’s been talking about’? Priorities, people!.