APRIL 2, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: SoftBank Backs Out of WeWork Investment. Impact: If SoftBank had decided to buy that $3 billion in WeWork stock, we might have been living in a parallel universe where co-working spaces replaced homes and we all shared a single laptop. Imagine the chaos of communal Zoom calls!. Fact: Did you know that Adam Neumann once claimed he could 'teleport' from one WeWork to another? Too bad he couldn’t teleport his company to profitability!.
• Headline: Emergency Medical Workers on the Frontlines. Impact: The bravery of those EMTs in Paterson sparked a worldwide appreciation for emergency workers, leading to spontaneous parades where people threw toilet paper rolls instead of confetti. Nothing says 'thank you' like a roll of Charmin!. Fact: Did you know that EMTs are trained to stay calm in chaotic situations? Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to stay calm when the Wi-Fi goes out!.
• Headline: Religious Perspectives on End Times. Impact: This exploration of the Apocalypse made everyone reconsider their life choices, leading to a surge in DIY projects to build bomb shelters. Fun fact: the average American's 'Doomsday Prep' Pinterest board is now more popular than actual cooking recipes.. Fact: Did you know that over 50% of people think they will survive the apocalypse? The other 50% are just waiting for a good Netflix series to binge while they wait!.
• Headline: Richard Prince: This Ain’t No Retrospective, It’s a Rodeo. Impact: Richard Prince's artistic take on the cowboy has inadvertently inspired a new generation of hipsters to don cowboy hats and flannel in urban settings, resulting in a bizarre trend of 'urban cowboys' in coffee shops across the nation.. Fact: Did you know Richard Prince's art is often described as 'borrowing'? Sounds like the perfect job for college students during finals week!.
• Headline: Ex-Wife Sick. Daughter Sick. 3 Friends Dead. Everyone Knows Someone.. Impact: The spread of the coronavirus made everyone more aware of their social circles, eventually leading to the invention of 'virtual hugs.' The emotional toll? Let's just say it’s a lot easier to keep a distance when you can mute your friends on Zoom.. Fact: Did you know that in times of crisis, social media usage skyrockets? Because nothing says 'I care' quite like posting a meme about the end of the world!.