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HEADLINES ON March 7, 2020
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- Headline: Test Kit Shortages Raise Health Concerns. Impact: The shortage of test kits led to a global DIY trend where citizens resorted to home experiments, inadvertently launching a bizarre era of amateur virology that would eventually inspire a new generation of TikTok scientists.. Fact: Isn't it ironic? When the world needed tests the most, we ended up with a surge in 'how to bake bread' videos instead. Priorities, right?.
- Headline: The Market Is Rocky. Will Target-Date Funds Change Their Strategy?. Impact: The market's instability prompted a wave of late-night infomercials selling 'financial advice' from self-proclaimed experts, leading to a generation of investors who believed they could outsmart the market with just ten easy payments of $19.99.. Fact: Spoiler alert: Target-date funds won't change their strategy, but rest assured, your uncle will still insist on giving you his 'hot stock tips' at every family gathering..
- Headline: A Sanders Voter, Weary of Debt at 29: ‘I Have Nothing to Lose’. Impact: This sentiment inspired a movement of millennials to embrace financial nihilism, leading to a decade filled with ironic coffee shops where the menu consists solely of 'bitter experiences' and 'cold brew despair'.. Fact: Interestingly, voting for Bernie Sanders was apparently the first time in history someone decided to risk it all for the chance of free college and healthcare. Who knew?.