FEBRUARY 22, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Olympian's Fight for Team U.S.A.. Impact: If Aleksandra Shelton had successfully joined Team U.S.A., the Olympics might have introduced a new 'Polish-American Fencing Clash' event, leading to an international rivalry that could have altered the trajectory of Olympic sports for decades. Who knew fencing could be so dramatic?. Fact: Did you know that fencing is the only Olympic sport that has a 'touché' rule? But apparently, no one thought to touché on gender discrimination until it got ugly..
• Headline: Cruise Ship Quarantine Crisis Unfolds. Impact: The cruise ship outbreak could have led to a new form of travel insurance—'Quarantine Coverage'—where you get compensated for every awkward Zoom call with your family while trapped in a floating Petri dish. Talk about a vacation gone wrong!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Petri dish' was originally used in microbiology? Now it’s just a fancy way to describe your last vacation..
• Headline: Astros Sign-Stealing Scandal Fallout. Impact: The Astros scandal sparked outrage that eventually led to an entire generation of baseball fans becoming amateur detectives, resulting in the emergence of 'Baseball CSI'—a television series that would combine sports and crime-solving, much to the dismay of actual detectives everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that sign-stealing has been in baseball since the 1800s? Guess the only thing that's changed is the level of technology and the level of outrage..
• Headline: Trump’s Efforts to Remove the Disloyal Heightens Unease Across His Administration. Impact: Trump's 'disloyalty purge' could have sparked a new reality show, 'Survivor: White House Edition', where only the most loyal survive, creating a political landscape that resembles a chaotic game of musical chairs with increasingly fewer chairs.. Fact: Did you know that political loyalty is often compared to a game of chess? Except in this version, the pawns are constantly being replaced..
• Headline: Digital Edits, a Paid Army: Bloomberg Is ‘Destroying Norms’ on Social Media. Impact: Bloomberg's social media tactics could have unintentionally led to the rise of a new social media platform called 'Truthbook', where only the most exaggerated political claims are allowed, completely redefining the landscape of political discourse.. Fact: Did you know that social media was originally designed to connect people? Now it’s just an arena for gladiators of misinformation..