FEBRUARY 20, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Clemency Connections Under Trump Administration. Impact: The clemency granted by Trump ended up leading to a reality show about ex-criminals trying to integrate back into society, which ironically won an Emmy for best unscripted series.. Fact: Did you know that friendship can sometimes be more powerful than the law? Who needs due process when you’ve got a buddy in the Oval Office?.
• Headline: Warren Targets Bloomberg in Nevada Debate. Impact: Warren’s relentless attacks on Bloomberg sparked a nationwide trend of political roast battles, which somehow ended up being more popular than actual debates.. Fact: Did you know that Bloomberg’s entire debate strategy was to just nod and smile? It’s a bold move in the world of politics, akin to showing up to a sword fight with a rubber chicken..
• Headline: Billions of Targets on His Back, Bloomberg Joins the Debate Fray. Impact: Bloomberg’s debate debut led to a new political phenomenon where candidates began hiring comedians as advisors, resulting in a comedic revolution that made politics slightly less unbearable.. Fact: Did you know that if you added up all of Bloomberg’s campaign spending, you could probably fund a small country? Or at least buy a lot of really nice pens for signing executive orders..