JANUARY 19, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: Syrian Women's Transformation Amidst War. Impact: The disappearance of men led to a surge in women's empowerment, resulting in a world where women rule the boardrooms, and men are still trying to figure out how to ask for directions.. Fact: Did you know that after this shift, the phrase 'just ask a woman' became a thing? Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: Art and Diversity in Newnan, Georgia. Impact: The town's struggle with big portraits sparked a nationwide movement where local communities began to question everything from their art choices to their life choices, resulting in the rise of existential crisis art therapy.. Fact: Fun fact: the portraits were so outsize that they required their own zip codes. Talk about a big statement!.
• Headline: Surveillance of Package Deliveries. Impact: As people became hyper-aware of their porch activities, it triggered a national obsession with surveillance, leading to the creation of 'Porch Watchers Anonymous'—a support group for those struggling with their newfound paranoia.. Fact: Did you know that Amazon now sells 'Porch Pirates' action figures? Because why not make a toy out of theft?.
• Headline: Even C-SPAN Is Piqued: Senate Puts Limits on Trial Coverage. Impact: The Senate's camera control led to a surge in conspiracy theories suggesting that they were hiding secret alien negotiations, resulting in the creation of a new genre of political sci-fi.. Fact: C-SPAN is now the leading provider of 'What You Didn't See' bingo cards. Spoiler: you won't win!.
• Headline: How U.S. Firms Helped Africa’s Richest Woman Exploit Her Country’s Wealth. Impact: Isabel dos Santos's rise to power ultimately inspired future generations to pursue careers in unethical capitalism, leading to the creation of a popular reality show called 'Who Wants to Be a Tycoon?'.. Fact: Did you know that Isabel dos Santos's favorite pastime is collecting rare coins, specifically those minted from the tears of the corrupt?.