JANUARY 15, 2020

Full News Archive

• Headline: China Trade Deal Enhances U.S. Protections. Impact: This trade deal was the butterfly that flapped its wings and caused a tornado of tech espionage, leading to a world where U.S. firms constantly check under their beds for Chinese spies instead of monsters.. Fact: Did you know that trade deals are basically like marriage proposals? You promise the moon and stars but still end up arguing about who left the toilet seat up?.
• Headline: Democratic Debate Highlights Gender and War Issues. Impact: The Democratic bickering paved the way for future political debates that resemble a reality TV show more than actual governance, ultimately leading to a world where 'The Real Housewives of Congress' becomes a hit series.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more confusing than Democratic primaries is trying to explain the plot of 'Inception' to your grandma..
• Headline: The Lasting Influence of WWII on Fashion. Impact: Fashion designers drawing from WWII means that the next generation of clothing could be inspired by rationing and camouflage, leading to a future where everyone is both stylish and ready for a bunker party.. Fact: Ironically, the only thing that hasn't changed since WWII is the ability of fashion to make people question their life choices—like wearing Crocs to a gala..
• Headline: Nissan Is in Trouble. Carlos Ghosn May Deserve the Blame.. Impact: Carlos Ghosn's fall from grace sent shockwaves through the auto industry, leading to a future where CEOs are more likely to dodge the law than dodge a curveball in planning meetings.. Fact: Did you know that being 'in good shape' as a CEO is basically the corporate equivalent of being 'just a little late' for a meeting? Spoiler: it never works out as you think..
• Headline: Nature Shows Are Hot Again. Impact: Nature shows becoming popular again foretold a future where everyone becomes a self-proclaimed wildlife expert, leading to awkward dinner parties filled with unsolicited animal facts.. Fact: Did you know that watching nature documentaries is the only time it's socially acceptable to scream at the TV about how the lion should just go vegan for once?.