DECEMBER 22, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bulgaria Poisoning Uncovers Russian Espionage. Impact: The exposure of Russian assassins led to a cascade of international espionage paranoia, resulting in every bad spy movie suddenly becoming a documentary series. Next thing you know, everyone's suspicious of their neighbor's pet goldfish.. Fact: Did you know that Unit 29155's existence sounds like the name of a really bad sci-fi movie? Spoiler alert: it’s not. It’s just their real-life shenanigans..
• Headline: Acting Coach Transforms Senior Center Drama. Impact: Matthew Hoffman's rise to fame in senior acting has inadvertently led to a spike in retirement home drama clubs, which now compete with Broadway for the most intense performances. Who knew bingo nights could be so theatrical?. Fact: Did you know that acting is just like bingo? One minute you’re winning, and the next, you’re just sitting there hoping someone yells 'bingo' before you forget your lines..
• Headline: Boeing's Leadership Crisis Unfolds. Impact: Dennis Muilenburg's mishandling of the Boeing crisis led to an international airline safety review that resulted in more regulations than a game of Monopoly. Now, getting on a plane feels like preparing for an interrogation.. Fact: Did you know that the 737 Max is now known as the '737 Maybe'? Because people are still debating whether it's safe to fly on..
• Headline: #MeToo Clashes With ‘Bro Culture’ at Ad Agencies. Impact: The #MeToo movement’s clash with 'Bro Culture' at ad agencies caused a seismic shift in the marketing world, where slogans now require a sensitivity reader and a public apology before they can even hit the airwaves.. Fact: Did you know that 'Mad Men' was originally pitched as a documentary series about how not to run a business? They just didn’t expect anyone to take notes..
• Headline: What We Learned in Space and Astronomy News in 2019. Impact: The continuous discoveries in space led to a collective existential crisis here on Earth, where people suddenly realized their problems are insignificant compared to the vastness of the universe. Cue the emotional breakdowns and TikTok therapy sessions.. Fact: Did you know that space is just like your attic? Full of stuff you don’t understand, but you’re too scared to throw out, hoping it might just be valuable one day..