DECEMBER 21, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: McConnell's Impeachment Strategy Unveiled. Impact: After McConnell's masterful blockade, a future generation of politicians took note and decided that 'gridlock' was the new 'bipartisan cooperation.' The phrase 'I can't even' became a staple in political discourse, fueling meme culture to unprecedented heights.. Fact: Mitch McConnell's nickname, 'the Grim Reaper,' was initially given to him after he insisted on blocking all bills that didn’t involve tax cuts for corporations. Who knew death could be so profitable?.
• Headline: The Success of ‘Where the Crawdads Sing’. Impact: The success of 'Where the Crawdads Sing' led to the rise of a new genre: 'nature-lit,' where authors felt the need to include at least one scene of a character dramatically shouting at a swamp. Spoiler: the swamp always wins.. Fact: Delia Owens was a wildlife scientist before becoming an author. So when she wrote about the natural world, she wasn't just winging it – she was practically a certified ‘nature whisperer.’.
• Headline: French Strikes Disrupt Economy and Travel. Impact: The French economy, known for its culinary pastries, found itself in a crisis because of the strikes. In a twist of fate, this led to an explosion of underground 'strike cuisine' trends where chefs began serving 'empty plates' as a statement.. Fact: The French rail strikes were so impactful, they almost made people realize that maybe the bread and butter of their economy shouldn’t rely on sitting in traffic. But hey, who doesn't love a baguette with a side of gridlock?.
• Headline: U.S. Braces for Major North Korean Weapons Test as Trump’s Diplomacy Fizzles. Impact: Trump's failed diplomacy with North Korea inadvertently led to a new era of international negotiations where parties played rock-paper-scissors to reach agreements. Spoiler alert: North Korea always chose rock.. Fact: North Korea’s affinity for nuclear weapons is matched only by the U.S.'s knack for making promises it can't keep. It’s like a bad relationship that everyone can see except the couple involved..
• Headline: ‘I’m Kidnapped’: A Father’s Nightmare on the Border. Impact: This father's terrifying ordeal highlighted the dangers migrants face, which inadvertently launched a new trend in adventure tourism: 'Border Crossing Experiences.' Because nothing says 'vacation' like risking your life.. Fact: The chilling audio of the negotiations was so gripping that it could have been a hit podcast. 'True Crime: Border Edition' would have been a bestseller – at least for those who enjoy a side of horror with their travel tales..