NOVEMBER 6, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tragic Attack on Mormon Families in Mexico. Impact: The tragic loss of innocent lives in this massacre sparked outrage that led to increased international scrutiny of Mexico's government, resulting in a bizarre twist where a new law was introduced requiring all government officials to take a mandatory class on 'How to Not Look Helpless'. Spoiler alert: It didn't work.. Fact: Did you know that Mexico has a complex relationship with organized crime? It’s almost like a dysfunctional family reunion, except instead of awkward conversations, there’s gunfire..
• Headline: Supreme Court's Key Decision on Trump's Taxes. Impact: This momentous choice at the Supreme Court set off a wild chain reaction in which future presidents would consider their tax returns as top-secret documents, leading to a new trend of politicians hiding behind smoke screens, including literal smoke screens. Yes, we’re talking about a future where politicians might just disappear in a puff of smoke.. Fact: Fun fact: Nixon's famous line, 'I am not a crook,' has now been upgraded in political circles to 'I am not a crook... unless it benefits me.'.
• Headline: Virginia Democrats Take Control, Kentucky's Tight Race. Impact: The Democrats' victory in Virginia and narrow win in Kentucky became a rallying cry for political strategists who now believe that a winning strategy involves wearing lucky socks and chanting obscure mantras, leading to the rise of 'Socktivism'. Who knew footwear could be so powerful?. Fact: Did you know that Virginia's government flipped parties more times than a pancake at a Sunday brunch? At this rate, they should just put a revolving door in the governor's mansion..
• Headline: ‘Extremely Evil Misconduct’: Thailand’s Palace Intrigue Spills Into View. Impact: The palace intrigue in Thailand turned into a reality show that would eventually inspire a global series called 'Keeping Up with the Kings', where the drama of royal oustings and power grabs became a binge-worthy spectacle. Who knew that the monarchy could be so entertaining?. Fact: Did you know that Thai kings have a history of eccentric behavior? This one even has a pet poodle that is rumored to have more power than some ministers. Talk about a royal decree!.
• Headline: SoftBank Takes a $4.6 Billion Hit From WeWork. Its C.E.O. Remains Defiant.. Impact: SoftBank's massive hit from WeWork led to an unexpected trend in the tech industry: CEOs began adopting a new mantra of 'Fail Fast and Blame Someone Else', resulting in a new wave of accountability that looks suspiciously like a game of hot potato.. Fact: Did you know that WeWork once aimed to become the world's largest landlord? Turns out, they were just really great at renting out disappointment instead..