AUGUST 31, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump's Controversial Tweet on Iran Incident. Impact: Trump's tweet caused a butterfly effect, leading to a series of memes that made high-resolution satellite images the go-to for every social media influencer. Now everyone thinks they can just casually leak classified info about their brunch plans.. Fact: Did you know that social media now has more classified information than most secret agencies? Just follow a few influencers!.
• Headline: Trump's Assistant Reveals Family Secrets. Impact: Westerhout's drunken revelations probably inspired a new reality show called 'The First Family: Behind Closed Doors,' which would have revolutionized how we view political families—until it was canceled due to lack of actual drama.. Fact: Fun fact: Sharing secrets while tipsy is a time-honored tradition; it’s what got half the founding fathers into trouble… and eventually led to a revolution..
• Headline: Hong Kong Protesters Clash With Police. Impact: The clashes in Hong Kong sparked a global resurgence of protests, making 'defying bans' a new hobby for bored millennials everywhere. Thanks to this, global activism now includes TikTok dance challenges.. Fact: Did you know that protesting is now so mainstream that even your grandma is considering picketing for her favorite bingo game?.
• Headline: ‘My World Has Now Stopped’: How One Family Is Recovering From a Mass Shooting. Impact: Every mass shooting leads to a renewed cycle of mourning, activism, and absolutely no change, creating a time loop of sadness and frustration that future historians will dissect while shaking their heads.. Fact: It’s fascinating how the cycle of grief is often accompanied by thoughts of 'when will this happen again?' rather than 'how can we stop this?'.
• Headline: Where to Show Off Your $5 Million Horse. Impact: The $5 million horse sparked a new trend in equestrian fashion, leading to the birth of a new social class known as 'The Equestrian Elite,' who hold tea parties where they sip out of horse-shaped cups.. Fact: You could buy a small country for the price of that horse, but hey, it probably has better manners than most politicians!.