AUGUST 15, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Risks of Sharing Your Phone Number. Impact: This poor soul sharing their phone number set off a chain reaction leading to the creation of a new breed of paranoid hermits who only communicate via smoke signals. Thanks a lot, tech columnists.. Fact: In ancient Rome, sharing your phone number would have meant giving someone your personal wax tablet. Good luck getting that back!.
• Headline: Central Banks Cut Rates Amid Recession Fears. Impact: As central banks cut rates, the world entered a bizarre reality where people started hoarding cash in their mattresses again, leading to a resurgence of mattress stores and a rise in mattress-themed reality shows.. Fact: During the Great Depression, cutting rates was like trying to fix a sinking ship by getting everyone to stand on the same side. Spoiler: it didn't work..
• Headline: The Debate Over Universal Child Care. Impact: The ongoing debate about universal child care has caused a ripple effect where future generations will either love or resent their parents for either making them work or giving them too much screen time. Thanks, America!. Fact: In some cultures, there's no debate about child care, just a collective agreement that everyone pitches in. Imagine that level of cooperation in the U.S. It’s almost like a sci-fi movie..
• Headline: Can the American West Be Saved?. Impact: The discussion of saving the American West sparked a movement where people started to carry around 'Save the West' signs, which ironically led to the extinction of several species of signs.. Fact: The American West, when properly preserved, can provide enough natural resources to keep hipsters happy indefinitely. Just don’t let them find out where the good coffee is..