AUGUST 14, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Controversial Murals in San Francisco Schools. Impact: By choosing to hide the murals instead of destroying them, the San Francisco School Board inadvertently set off a chain reaction in art preservation debates. This led to an alternate timeline where art historians became the most sought-after consultants in schools, leading to the founding of ‘Artistic Conspiracy Theories 101’ classes in universities worldwide.. Fact: Did you know that hiding things is now considered a legitimate form of art curation? Next up: hiding all the bad reviews of this decision in a vault!.
• Headline: Exploring Wisconsin's Unique Roadside Attractions. Impact: This road trip sparked a nationwide obsession with roadside attractions, leading to the creation of a secret society dedicated to promoting bizarre landmarks. They later influenced the design of theme parks, resulting in an entire park dedicated to weird fiberglass figures.. Fact: Did you know that the giant cowboy was actually a failed attempt at a giant inflatable mascot for a local fast-food chain? Talk about a marketing flop!.
• Headline: Exploring the Virtual Restaurant Evolution. Impact: The rise of virtual restaurants transformed the culinary landscape, eventually resulting in the bizarre phenomenon of 'dining-in-a-vacuum,' where patrons would order meals that only existed in augmented reality, leading to a massive spike in sales of VR headsets and a decline in actual cooking skills.. Fact: Did you know that the first virtual restaurant was actually just a guy in his basement making microwave meals while streaming himself on Twitch? Bon appétit!.
• Headline: ASAP Rocky Guilty of Assault in Sweden but Won’t Face Prison Time. Impact: ASAP Rocky’s case created an unexpected ripple in the music industry, inspiring a new genre called 'Rap and Release' where artists release albums while dodging legal issues, ultimately leading to a Grammy category for the best album created during a trial.. Fact: Did you know that ASAP Rocky's real name is Rakim Mayers? Just imagine the courtroom drama if he had used his stage name instead—'Your Honor, my client pleads the fifth on his latest mixtape!'.
• Headline: WeWork Takes Key Step Toward I.P.O., Citing Heady Growth and Huge Losses. Impact: WeWork’s I.P.O. adventure opened the floodgates for other startups to follow suit, leading to a bizarre era where companies could go public simply by declaring their intention to be 'the next big thing,' regardless of whether they had a product or not. This culminated in the infamous 'Invisible Umbrella Company' which promised to protect you from nothing.. Fact: Did you know that WeWork was originally conceived as a place for hipsters to drink artisanal coffee while pretending to work? Turns out, office space is just a fancy term for overpriced coffee shop!.