AUGUST 12, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: YouTube's Role in Brazil's Radicalization. Impact: If only YouTube had decided to promote cat videos and baking tutorials instead of extremist content, Brazil might have become a global leader in pastry arts instead of political unrest. Imagine a world where everyone argues over who's the best croissant maker instead of political ideologies!. Fact: Did you know that the most popular YouTube video ever is a song about a baby shark? Because nothing screams 'radical change' like a catchy tune that gets stuck in your head for eternity!.
• Headline: Suspected Missile Explosion Kills Seven Russians. Impact: This incident could have sent shockwaves through international relations, possibly altering the trajectory of nuclear arms control discussions. Who knew that a blast could lead to a whole new round of diplomatic tea parties?. Fact: Did you know that nuclear-powered cruise missiles are just like regular cruise missiles, but they come with a more expensive price tag and a side of existential dread?.
• Headline: Facebook's Response to Antitrust Concerns. Impact: It’s like watching a toddler caught with their hand in the cookie jar: they’ll promise to share cookies next time while plotting to hoard the entire cookie jar. Facebook’s changes could lead to an even more sophisticated form of social media manipulation down the line.. Fact: Did you know that Facebook’s idea of 'transparency' is like a magician’s trick? Look over here while we keep all the real secrets hidden!.
• Headline: A Giant Factory Rises to Make a Product Filling Up the World: Plastic. Impact: This factory could become the birthplace of the Great Plastic Apocalypse, where future generations dig through mountains of plastic waste looking for remnants of the 'good old days.' Who knew that convenience would come with such a hefty environmental bill?. Fact: Did you know that plastic was originally invented in the early 1900s? It’s the gift that keeps on giving... in the form of pollution!.
• Headline: Saudi Aramco Says It’s ‘Ready’ for I.P.O. as It Reports Half-Year Earnings. Impact: The IPO could reshape global oil markets, potentially leading to a future where we all have to start carrying around oil shares instead of cash. Forget wallets, we’ll just need a stock portfolio in our back pockets!. Fact: Did you know that Saudi Aramco is so valuable that even their coffee breaks are probably audited? Talk about high-stakes caffeine!.