AUGUST 3, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump's Trade War Impact on Economy. Impact: When Trump pressured China, little did he know that his tweets would send ripples through time, causing future generations to argue about tariffs at family dinners instead of discussing the weather.. Fact: Did you know that the S&P 500's worst week was probably just its way of saying it needed a vacation? Maybe a trip to the beach would soothe those financial woes..
• Headline: Women in Japan Challenge Marriage Norms. Impact: As Japanese women opted out of marriage, this sparked a butterfly effect that led to a future where the phrase 'I do' became as common as 'I'd rather binge-watch Netflix alone.'
  Who knew skipping the wedding cake would lead to increased cake consumption at home?. Fact: Fun fact: The Japanese word for 'single' roughly translates to 'freedom,' which explains why so many are opting for solo sushi nights..
• Headline: Trump's Strategy to Attract Black Voters. Impact: Trump courting Black voters was like tossing a stone into a pond—only instead of ripples, it caused a tsunami of debates and memes that would echo through social media for years to come. Future generations would look back and say, 'What were they thinking?'. Fact: Did you know that Facebook ads can target your grandma’s obsession with knitting just as easily as they target political opinions? Perhaps Trump should have just sent out crochet patterns instead..
• Headline: Lana Wood, Natalie’s Little Sister, Has Plenty to Say. Impact: Lana Wood's revival of her sister's cold case triggered a wave of amateur sleuthing that would inspire countless true crime podcasts, leading to a future where everyone thinks they're a detective after binge-watching too many series on Netflix.. Fact: Fun fact: Cold cases are like fine wine; they get better with age, but only if you have a good story to tell about them..
• Headline: Wild Pups Romp Again in an African Paradise. Impact: The return of wild pups to Gorongosa National Park set off a chain reaction of conservation efforts worldwide, making it popular for Instagram influencers to claim they care about wildlife while sipping lattes in urban cafes.. Fact: Did you know that wild dogs are actually fantastic social animals? They could teach humans a thing or two about teamwork—if only they could get a job at the office..