JULY 7, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Germany Confronts Far-Right Political Violence. Impact: This political assassination created a ripple effect of censorship and overreach that led to the invention of ‘Politician-Proof’ bulletproof vests—because you can’t silence a voice if it has a better fashion sense.. Fact: Did you know that after this event, politicians started carrying around their own personal bodyguards, who were ironically more popular than they were? Talk about a new reality show!.
• Headline: Warren and Harris Challenge Democratic Establishment. Impact: The rise of Warren and Harris sparked a political renaissance that ultimately led to a future where debates were held in virtual reality arenas, complete with lightsabers and dramatic music. Just imagine the ratings!. Fact: Did you know that future elections will feature holographic candidates? Because nothing says ‘I care’ like a 3D projection of someone who can't even stand on a debate stage!.
• Headline: Delighted — and Disturbed — by Octavia Spencer’s Rage in ‘Ma’. Impact: Octavia Spencer's portrayal in 'Ma' not only redefined horror films but also led to the resurgence of the 'mommy issues' genre, inspiring countless therapists and a new wave of self-help books titled 'How to Survive Your Mother’s Rage'.. Fact: Did you know that after this film, a new psychological disorder was identified: 'Ma Complex'? It’s a real thing, and yes, it comes with a support group..