MAY 30, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mueller's Complex Message on Trump. Impact: Mueller's ambiguous message created a ripple effect that led to endless debates, conspiracy theories, and a generation of political memes questioning everything from ketchup preferences to the alignment of stars. Thanks, Bob!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Mueller Time' became a thing? It’s like happy hour, but with more legal jargon..
• Headline: Explore Galaxy's Edge at Disneyland. Impact: The opening of Galaxy's Edge inadvertently sparked a mass migration of hipsters to cosplay as Wookiees, leading to a Wookiee-inspired yoga trend that swept the nation, forever changing the fitness landscape.. Fact: Did you know that Disneyland's expansion was so big, it almost required its own zip code? Just think of the tax implications!.
• Headline: Michael Wolff Discusses Truth in Journalism. Impact: Wolff's revelations about Trump turned him into a literary celebrity, which indirectly led to a rise in the popularity of questionable memoirs, where everyone suddenly felt their 'truth' was worth a book deal.. Fact: Did you know that Michael Wolff's book 'Fire and Fury' was so explosive, it nearly set off a literary fire alarm? No one could read it without a fire extinguisher!.
• Headline: Perk for the Ultrarich: Buy an $85 Million Apartment, Get a Trip to Space. Impact: The $85 million apartment with space trip incentive created a new luxury standard, causing a boom in extravagant real estate listings that included perks like private islands and personal time machines—because why not?. Fact: Did you know that for $85 million, you could buy a penthouse in Manhattan or a small country? Decisions, decisions!.