MAY 19, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Koepka's Dominance at the P.G.A. Championship. Impact: Koepka's dominance inspired a new generation of golfers, leading to a worldwide obsession with golf that resulted in the invention of golf-themed reality TV shows, because why not mix sport with melodrama?. Fact: Did you know Brooks Koepka's par 70 is what most of us call a 'good day'? For him, it was just Tuesday..
• Headline: The Crisis of Taxi Drivers' Loans. Impact: The reckless loans created a generation of taxi drivers who, instead of chasing the American Dream, ended up starting a support group for 'People Who Should Have Read the Fine Print'. This group eventually became a reality show, proving that bad decisions are always good TV.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more exhausting than driving a taxi in New York is trying to understand all the fine print in a loan agreement..
• Headline: Taxi Drivers' Loan Crisis in New York. Impact: Top officials counting money turned into a national sport, leading to the creation of a reality series called 'Counting Cash: The Government Edition', where contestants attempt to find the most creative ways to ignore the needs of the public.. Fact: Isn't it funny how counting money never seems to require a calculator when it comes to government profits?.
• Headline: Abortion Fight or Strong Economy? For G.O.P., Cultural Issues Undercut 2020 Message. Impact: The G.O.P.'s strategy of mixing cultural issues into their message resulted in an unexpected rise in voter turnout among those who just wanted to debate what constitutes a 'real issue'—spoiler alert: it wasn't the economy.. Fact: Did you know that injecting cultural issues into an election is the political equivalent of throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks? Just don't forget to clean the wall afterward..