APRIL 20, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Divide Over Mueller Report's Findings. Impact: The Mueller Report's division of opinion led to the rise of countless conspiracy theories, ultimately inspiring a new genre of online content where cat videos became political commentary. Thanks, Mr. Mueller!. Fact: Did you know that the Mueller Report is the only report that has created more divided opinions than pineapple on pizza?.
• Headline: Luxury Towers and New York's Housing Crisis. Impact: The luxury towers built for the ultrarich led to an unexpected surge in the popularity of 'tiny homes' as the masses sought to regain their dignity by living in shipping containers. Thanks for the inspiration, wealthy elites!. Fact: Did you know that Central Park's views now include a skyline that looks like a game of Jenga gone terribly wrong?.
• Headline: Corey Galloway's Arena Football Ambitions. Impact: Corey Galloway's dreams of arena football led to the invention of inflatable stadiums, which became wildly popular for their ability to deflate just as quickly as the hopes of aspiring athletes.. Fact: Did you know that arena football is the only sport where you can lose your entire fanbase by losing a single game? Just ask Corey!.
• Headline: Should a White Man Be the Face of the Democratic Party in 2020?. Impact: The Democratic Party's identity crisis led to a series of 'Who wore it best?' contests among politicians, culminating in a bizarre fashion show that had everyone wondering if politics was just a new reality TV show.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than the Democratic Party's identity is a toddler trying to explain their favorite color?.