APRIL 15, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump's Immigration Policy Clashes. Impact: In the grand tapestry of history, Trump's clashes with his own officials may have inadvertently inspired a new genre of political reality TV: 'Survivor: Washington Edition.' Future leaders will think twice before crossing their aides, lest they end up in a dramatic tribal council.. Fact: Did you know that the Department of Homeland Security is basically like a really dysfunctional family? They argue about everything, and anyone who tries to bring in snacks (or policies) ends up getting voted off the island..
• Headline: Tea & Sympathy Fights for Its Future. Impact: The fight for Tea & Sympathy’s survival may have sparked a global scone renaissance, leading to an epic showdown of British tea shops in a quest for world domination—one clotted cream at a time.. Fact: Fun fact: If you say 'scone' correctly, a British person is legally obliged to offer you tea. It’s basically a national sport..
• Headline: Trump's Trade Deals: A Double-Edged Sword. Impact: Trump's trade deal antics may have led to a future where world leaders send each other bizarre gifts instead of negotiating. Imagine Kim Jong-un sending a giant inflatable Trump as a peace offering!. Fact: Did you know that trade deals are often just like attempting to split the bill at a restaurant? Everyone pretends to agree until the check arrives, and then chaos ensues..
• Headline: What’s a Feminist Government? Canada, and Trudeau, Grapple With the Question. Impact: Canada's feminist government debate could lead future politicians to run on platforms based entirely around hashtags, with the first election featuring candidates arguing over who can tweet the most empowering quotes.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Feminist government' was once just a euphemism for a discussion about who gets to choose the restaurant for dinner..
• Headline: Searching Out the Hidden Stories of South Carolina’s Gullah Country. Impact: The hidden stories of South Carolina’s Gullah Country might inspire a new trend of urban explorers, leading to a resurgence of interest in local histories and the creation of overpriced Gullah-themed escape rooms.. Fact: Did you know that Gullah culture is so rich, it could probably out-hip any trendy coffee shop? They have their own language and culinary traditions, yet somehow, avocado toast still rules the world..