APRIL 11, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: 737 Max Software Changes and F.A.A. Review. Impact: The changes to the 737 Max software led to a worldwide ban of the aircraft, causing airlines to rethink their safety protocols. This eventually sparked a new career path for conspiracy theorists who claimed the planes were controlled by alien technology. Spoiler: they weren’t.. Fact: Did you know that the FAA's motto is 'Better Safe Than Sorry'? Just kidding, it's actually 'Oops, My Bad.'.
• Headline: Flood Risk for Government Homes Rising. Impact: The government homes in flood plains became the catalyst for a new trend: underwater living. Who needs a beach house when you can have a government-subsidized aquatic experience? Don't forget your snorkel!. Fact: Fun fact: living in a flood zone is the new black! It's not about where you live, it's about how you accessorize your emergency raft..
• Headline: Self Racing Cars Contest Overview. Impact: The Self Racing Cars contest sparked a global movement where humans began competing against their own creations. This led to a dark age of car-human relationships where vehicles started demanding equal rights.. Fact: Did you know that before self-driving cars, people used to race their friends and family? Now they just race algorithms. Progress, am I right?.
• Headline: Under Modi, a Hindu Nationalist Surge Has Further Divided India. Impact: Modi's rise to power created a ripple effect of polarization that inspired other nations to try their hand at divisive politics. Little did they know, they would end up with political clowns instead of statesmen.. Fact: Did you know that in India, the term 'Hindu Nationalist' is often followed by a massive sigh? It's like a national pastime at this point..
• Headline: Julian Assange Arrested in London as U.S. Unseals Hacking Conspiracy Indictment. Impact: Assange's arrest ignited a worldwide debate about freedom of speech and government transparency, leading to an unexpected spike in online privacy software sales. Who knew that a guy in an embassy would spark a tech revolution?. Fact: Fun fact: Assange's favorite pastime in the embassy was playing hide-and-seek with the authorities. He was just really good at it!.