APRIL 10, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Netanyahu Set to Lead Israel Again. Impact: Netanyahu's victory leads to a series of political maneuvers that eventually inspire other leaders to adopt increasingly theatrical election tactics, culminating in a global trend of political leaders holding dramatic press conferences in theatrical costumes.. Fact: Did you know that in some alternate timelines, election debates are held in gladiatorial arenas? Talk about a ratings boost!.
• Headline: LACMA’s Ambitious New Building Approved. Impact: The approval of this museum leads to an art renaissance where every city attempts to outdo each other with absurdly overpriced buildings, resulting in the world's first 'Museum of Unnecessary Museums' which ironically becomes the most visited.. Fact: Did you know that for just $650 million, you could build a small moon base? Just saying!.
• Headline: $7 Million Trump Building Condo Tied to Scandal-Scarred Foreign Leader. Impact: This condo sale sets off a global trend where foreign leaders begin to invest in luxury properties as a way to launder their reputations, leading to the emergence of high-stakes real estate games that rival Monopoly.. Fact: Did you know that in the world of shady real estate, 'Trump' has become a verb? As in, 'I just Trumped my way into a deal!'.
• Headline: Darkness Visible, Finally: Astronomers Capture First Ever Image of a Black Hole. Impact: The first image of a black hole sparks a cosmic selfie craze, leading to the development of 'Space Filters' that allow you to post your own black hole images on social media, causing existential crises everywhere.. Fact: Fun fact: The first black hole selfie was actually taken by a cat. Because, of course, it was..