MARCH 19, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Executives' Political Contributions Revealed. Impact: If executives hadn’t preferred to fund Republicans, we might have seen a sudden influx of unicorns in the political landscape. Instead, we just got more lobbyists. Thanks for nothing, wallets!. Fact: Did you know that the average executive's wallet might weigh more than a small child? It's true; they just don’t like to carry the weight of their bad decisions..
• Headline: Diversity on Stage: A New Era Begins. Impact: This moment could be the butterfly flapping its wings that leads to a Broadway where the cast isn't just a sea of beige. Who knows? Maybe one day, the next Hamilton could feature a llama as the lead!. Fact: Fun fact: The last time a white man held the door open for someone else was in 1952. It's been a while since they’ve been so generous!.
• Headline: U.S. Pressures Iraq Over Iranian Militias. Impact: This push could lead to a future where American officials are forced to choose between diplomacy and a taco truck run by militias. Spoiler: the taco truck wins every time.. Fact: Did you know that 'Iraq' and 'Iran' are just two letters away from being a really bad sitcom? Just add a laugh track!.
• Headline: Anyone Speak K’iche’ or Mam? Immigration Courts Overwhelmed by Indigenous Languages. Impact: This overwhelming influx of indigenous languages in immigration courts could create a future where legal proceedings sound like an episode of 'Survivor'. Who will get voted off the island next?. Fact: Did you know that immigration courts are like a bad game of charades? Everyone's guessing, but no one really understands what's happening!.
• Headline: Local Food in Puerto Rico Finds Energy in Recovery. Impact: The resurgence of local food in Puerto Rico might just lead to a culinary revolution that could inspire a new trend: hurricane-proof recipes. Just in time for the next storm!. Fact: Fun fact: Puerto Rican chefs are now training their avocados to withstand hurricanes. They’re very ambitious avocados!.