MARCH 18, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Immigration Enforcement and Agriculture Crisis. Impact: If farmers had suddenly decided to hire robots instead of immigrants, we might be living in a dystopian future where corn is grown by sentient machines that also refuse to pay taxes.. Fact: Did you know that many farmers still believe crops grow best when watered with tears of frustration? They might need a new irrigation system..
• Headline: Rick Singer's College Admissions Scandal. Impact: Rick Singer's scandal could have led to a world where parents are forced to bribe their way into kindergarten, setting off a chain reaction of elite toddler networks and exclusive playdates.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more inflated than college tuition is the ego of someone who once got into an Ivy League school because their parents knew a guy..
• Headline: Sandra Day O'Connor: A Judicial Trailblazer. Impact: Sandra Day O'Connor's legacy may have sparked a series of events where women slowly take over the Supreme Court, leading to a future where all justices must wear matching robes and attend yoga retreats.. Fact: Did you know that O'Connor was once a cowgirl? Maybe that’s where she learned how to wrangle all those legal arguments!.
• Headline: The ‘Enigma’ Who Is the Chief Justice of the United States. Impact: If John Roberts had chosen a different career path, we might have seen a reality show called 'Supreme Court Idol,' where judges compete for a chance to rule on landmark cases.. Fact: Did you know that John Roberts once appeared in a school play? The role? A judge! Guess he was born for the job..
• Headline: Medicare for All Is Divisive (in the Democratic Party). Impact: The Democratic Party's internal squabbles over Medicare for All could eventually lead to a new political party formed entirely by people who just want a decent sandwich without having to argue about health care.. Fact: Did you know that arguing about Medicare is like arguing about pizza toppings? Everyone has an opinion, but nobody leaves satisfied..