MARCH 10, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Maduro Aid Convoy Incident Explained. Impact: If only Maduro had just stuck to karaoke nights instead of Molotov cocktails, perhaps the whole Venezuelan crisis would have turned into a global dance-off instead of a political disaster. The butterfly flaps and suddenly the world is dancing again. Who knew?. Fact: Did you know that Molotov cocktails were originally designed as a 'friendly' way to greet your foes? Just kidding, they're definitely not friendly..
• Headline: My Friendship with Donald Shirley. Impact: In a parallel universe, if Dr. Shirley had decided to become a cat meme influencer instead of a pianist, we might have avoided a few awkward Oscar speeches and certainly less traffic on the internet. The power of friendship, folks!. Fact: Fun fact: 'Dr. Funky Butt' was actually a nickname he used to confuse fans at the concert — because what else could you do with a name like that?.
• Headline: Review: The Met’s ‘Ring’ Stops Creaking, but Still Doesn’t Work. Impact: If Lepage had just put a little more thought into the staging, we might have avoided a series of opera-goers suddenly deciding to pursue careers in interpretive dance, all while Wagner rolls in his grave. The arts, folks, always a risky business!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'empty-headed' was originally coined to describe the audience after watching this production? Just a coincidence, I’m sure..
• Headline: India Fights Diabetic Blindness With Help From A.I.. Impact: The A.I. revolution in India could lead to the rise of robot doctors who will ultimately replace human doctors. Soon, we might be arguing with our A.I. about our diets instead of our spouses. 'Yes, I will eat that kale smoothie, thank you very much!'. Fact: Did you know that Google’s help in fighting diabetic blindness is like asking a toddler to help with your taxes? They mean well, but it’s a little terrifying..