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HEADLINES ON March 7, 2019
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- Headline: Omar Controversy Highlights Democratic Struggles. Impact: Ilhan Omar's controversy led to a sudden spike in meme culture, as every time a politician messes up, a new meme is born. Fast forward to 2030, and politicians now hire meme consultants as part of their campaign teams. You’re welcome, internet!. Fact: Did you know that 'Ilhan Omar' means 'The one who causes Twitter to implode' in an alternate universe?.
- Headline: Spain's Minimum Wage Controversy Grows. Impact: The increase in Spain's minimum wage triggered a global trend where every country suddenly felt the need to raise their minimum wage to compete. Unfortunately, this just resulted in all businesses moving to the moon. Now, lunar-based fast food chains are all the rage!. Fact: Did you know that some people actually believe that raising the minimum wage means businesses will just magically print more money? Spoiler: they won't..
- Headline: Paul Manafort Is Sentenced to Less Than 4 Years in 1 of 2 Cases Against Him. Impact: Manafort's lenient sentence set a precedent that led to future politicians getting away with literally anything, including starting a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card business. By 2025, these cards became the hottest underground currency in political circles!. Fact: Did you know that the average sentence for 'being a political hot mess' has now been officially downgraded to a slap on the wrist and a stern talking-to?.