FEBRUARY 28, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Meet the Verminfluencers of Instagram. Impact: If only more people had embraced their inner trash panda, we might have avoided a global crisis of loneliness. Who knew dumpster diving could spark a revolution in mental health?. Fact: Did you know the term 'verminfluencers' is now officially a thing? Because, sure, why not? Just when you thought we couldn't get more absurd..
• Headline: A Shift in Daily Mail's Editorial Tone. Impact: With a new editor at the helm, the Daily Mail might finally take a break from its headline wars, leading to a dramatic decrease in coffee-related injuries from readers spitting out their drinks. You're welcome, dental industry.. Fact: Fun fact: Eton and Oxford graduates are still trying to convince us they know what 'the people' want. Spoiler alert: They don't..
• Headline: Michael Jackson's Legacy Questioned by Documentary. Impact: This documentary could lead to a paradigm shift in how we view childhood trauma, potentially resulting in a new era of pop culture where celebrities are held accountable. Imagine a world where we actually listen to victims—what a concept!. Fact: Did you know that Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' was once deemed the greatest music video of all time? Guess it didn't age quite as gracefully as we thought..
• Headline: U.S. Economy Cooled as G.D.P. Grew at 2.6% Rate in Fourth Quarter. Impact: The cooling economy is like the world's least exciting rollercoaster. Buckle up, because the decline in GDP growth might just lead to more 'unexpected' financial crises. Who knew tax cuts could be so... impactful?. Fact: Surprise! The economy is like a sloth on tranquilizers—slow and steady, but ultimately a little concerning. And yet, here we are, holding our breath..
• Headline: Legal Threats From Broadway’s ‘Mockingbird’ Sink Productions Around the Country. Impact: Legal threats from Broadway could trigger a massive revival of original plays, leading to a renaissance of creativity that the theater community has been thirsting for. Or, you know, it could just make everyone really, really mad.. Fact: Did you know that community theaters have been around since the dawn of time? They’re basically the original influencers, minus the Instagram followers and free avocado toast..