FEBRUARY 26, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: SEC Seeks Contempt Ruling Against Elon Musk. Impact: This seemingly trivial Twitter post led to a series of increasingly bizarre Tesla tweets, causing a rift between social media and corporate governance. In an alternate timeline, Twitter becomes the new stock exchange, and emojis are traded as currency.. Fact: Did you know that if you ever need a reminder that tweeting is not a substitute for legal advice, just look at Elon Musk's Twitter feed? It's basically an encyclopedia of 'what not to do.'.
• Headline: Chicago's Mayor Race and Resident Exodus. Impact: As residents left Chicago in droves, a new trend emerged: 'urban escape rooms' where people paid to experience the thrill of leaving a city without the hassle of packing. Ironically, it became a popular tourist attraction.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'voting with your feet' was originally coined by people who didn’t want to deal with traffic? It’s a little-known fact that Chicago may have more foot voters than actual ballots..
• Headline: Poland Pursues U.S. Natural Gas for Security. Impact: This shift in energy dynamics led to Poland developing a national mascot: a superhero named 'Gasman,' who fights against energy crises and bad relationships with exes—specifically, Russia.. Fact: Did you know that Poland’s new energy strategy includes a 'Gas Dance' competition? Contestants must twirl and twist while balancing gas canisters—it's like a reality show, but with more explosions!.
• Headline: On Eve of Michael Cohen’s Testimony, Republican Threatens to Reveal Compromising Information. Impact: Cohen’s testimony led to an unexpected increase in popcorn sales nationwide as Americans prepared for a political circus. In a parallel universe, Cohen's revelations turned into a hit reality TV show called 'Keeping Up with the Cohen Kardashians.'. Fact: Did you know that 'compromising information' is just a fancy way of saying someone has dirt on you? It’s like the adult version of 'I won’t tell if you don’t tell.'.