FEBRUARY 16, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kaepernick's Protest and League Settlement. Impact: Kaepernick's knee became a rallying point for social justice movements, inspiring a generation of athletes to use their platforms. In a parallel universe, his knee also sparked a new yoga trend called 'Protest Pose'—we’re still waiting for the instructor to drop the ‘namaste’ in favor of ‘take a knee’.. Fact: Fun fact: Kaepernick’s protest was so powerful, even his old jersey is now considered a collector's item, mostly for people who like to collect controversy..
• Headline: Pope Defrocks Cardinal McCarrick. Impact: The defrocking of McCarrick sent shockwaves through the Catholic Church, leading to a wave of similar investigations. In a few decades, historians will argue that this was the moment the Church finally decided to clean house—just in time for the next big scandal, which will probably involve the virtual reality priests.. Fact: It’s interesting to note that the Catholic Church took this long to defrock someone. I mean, they can’t even keep track of the collection plate, but they can defrock a cardinal? Priorities!.
• Headline: A Mother Learns the Identity of Her Child’s Grandmother. A Sperm Bank Threatens to Sue.. Impact: The sperm bank saga could lead to a future where genetic testing is mandatory before donating sperm, resulting in a new industry of ‘Sperm Ancestry’ kits. Imagine the family reunions: 'Hi, I'm your half-brother from a tube!'. Fact: Did you know that sperm banks have more regulations than most dating apps? At least they have less ghosting!.
• Headline: Life Without Plastic Is Possible. It’s Just Very Hard.. Impact: The plastic-free movement inspired a generation to ditch convenience for sustainability. In the future, this will lead to a bizarre trend where people barter for toothpaste made from crushed mint leaves and their own tears—because nothing says commitment like a DIY dental regimen.. Fact: Did you know that going plastic-free also means giving up on the convenience of just about everything? Welcome to the 19th century, where your toothpaste is just mint and regret!.