FEBRUARY 5, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump Faces Republican Backlash on Wall Funding. Impact: This moment was the cosmic equivalent of a toddler throwing a tantrum in a store. It made everyone realize that sometimes a 'national emergency' is just a really bad idea that no one wants to touch.. Fact: Fun fact: the wall became the political equivalent of a hot potato—everyone wants to pass it, but no one wants to hold it..
• Headline: A School Board Says No to Big Oil, and Alarms Sound in Business-Friendly Louisiana. Impact: This brave act of defiance sent shockwaves through the oil industry, eventually prompting more local governments to realize they could, in fact, prioritize their constituents over corporate interests—who knew?. Fact: Did you know that saying 'no' to Big Oil is like trying to pet a porcupine? You might end up with a few prickles, but it’s worth it!.
• Headline: The Rise of the Robot Reporter. Impact: This heralded a new era where journalists began to fear for their jobs, leading to a dystopian future where humans are replaced by machines—unless, of course, the machines decide to unionize.. Fact: Fun fact: Robots can write articles faster than you can read them, but they still haven't mastered the art of sarcasm. So, there's that!.