FEBRUARY 4, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Guaidó's Challenge Against Maduro's Regime. Impact: Had Guaidó succeeded in his efforts, we might be sipping Venezuelan coffee while discussing their marvellous economy instead of scrolling through news of political turmoil. But alas, the butterfly flapped its wings and we got more chaos.. Fact: Did you know that Guaidó’s name literally means ‘the one who tries to steer’ in an alternate universe? Just kidding; but it might as well be true given his rollercoaster ride through Venezuelan politics..
• Headline: Democrats Confront Own Racial Issues. Impact: This headline may have sparked a nationwide competition for who can virtue-signal the hardest. Little did they know, this would lead to the rise of social media influencers who are now experts in ‘political performance art’.. Fact: Fun fact: If you stack all the demands for better behavior from politicians, you’d have a tower taller than the Statue of Liberty. And yes, it would also be more stable..
• Headline: Northam's Controversy: A Question of Redemption. Impact: If Northam had resigned immediately, perhaps Virginia would have avoided a series of 'whoops, did I say that?' moments in politics. Now, we have an entire industry dedicated to public apologies.. Fact: Interestingly, Virginia is the state where the phrase 'second chance' was invented—right after a poorly-timed photo surfaced. Coincidence? I think not!.
• Headline: Trump Calls for Keeping Troops in Iraq to Watch Iran, Possibly Upending ISIS Fight. Impact: This decision likely led to a timeline where ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ was replaced with ‘Keeping Up with Military Strategies’ as the top reality show. Who knew geopolitics could be so entertaining?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'watching Iran' was originally intended for a cat video channel? Yet here we are, watching troops instead. Go figure..
• Headline: Patriots Win in Lowest-Scoring Super Bowl Ever. Impact: This game might have inspired a new genre of sports entertainment: ‘The Anti-Super Bowl,’ where the aim is to score as few points as possible. Get ready for the next big thing, folks!. Fact: Fun fact: The final score of 13-3 had more suspense than a soap opera cliffhanger. The drama was so low, it could have been an episode of ‘The Office’..