JANUARY 17, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Impact of Government Shutdown on Job Security. Impact: This government shutdown not only impacted the federal employees, but also led to a sudden surge in online memes about government workers picking up side gigs as baristas or dog walkers. Who knew that the potential for coffee spills could lead to the rise of the 'Federal Barista Movement'?. Fact: Did you know that the last government shutdown brought out more creativity in meme-making than an entire season of a reality TV show? Who knew our leaders had such a talent for inspiring humor?.
• Headline: Trump Faces Shutdown Challenges in Transition. Impact: In this West Wing drama, Trump's struggle with the shutdown resulted in a new reality TV show pitch: 'The Apprentice: Government Edition'. It featured contestants trying to negotiate their way out of a budget crisis—because who doesn’t love a little chaos?. Fact: Did you know that during this shutdown, the only thing more unstable than the government was Trump’s haircut? Both were subject to fierce winds of change!.
• Headline: Vanguard’s Jack Bogle Wasn’t a Billionaire. He Was Proud of That.. Impact: Jack Bogle's legacy of pride in not being a billionaire inspired countless hedge fund managers to suddenly feel inadequate. This led to a bizarre movement where they started donating their fortunes to feel more human. Next thing you know, Wall Street is handing out free hugs.. Fact: Did you know that Bogle's philosophy was so refreshing that it might just be the secret ingredient for a new line of financial wellness retreats? 'Come find your inner simplicity!'.
• Headline: World’s Biggest Investor Tells C.E.O.s Purpose Is the ‘Animating Force’ for Profits. Impact: Larry Fink's call for C.E.O.s to prioritize purpose over profits sparked an unexpected wave of corporate soul-searching, resulting in companies hosting mandatory 'find your purpose' retreats—complete with yoga mats and inspirational posters. Because nothing says leadership like a good downward dog.. Fact: Did you know that Fink's annual letter was the corporate equivalent of a motivational poster? 'You miss 100% of the profits you don’t take with social good in mind!'.