JANUARY 6, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Impact of Big Retailers on Local Taxes. Impact: If Walmart and Lowe's had paid their fair share of taxes, perhaps small towns would have flourished, leading to a butterfly effect where local bakeries thrived, and a new generation of artisan bread would have saved humanity from the gluten-free fad.. Fact: Did you know that in some alternate realities, Walmart is actually a benevolent organization that donates its profits to local communities? Just kidding, they stockpile those profits like they're preparing for an apocalypse..
• Headline: Tariffs Impacting American Manufacturing Jobs. Impact: Trump's tariffs, which were meant to protect American jobs, inadvertently inspired a new generation of job seekers to think outside the box—like moving to another country where they could actually find work. Thanks, tariffs!. Fact: Did you know that tariffs are like the modern-day equivalent of putting a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on your economy? Except instead of rest, you just get a lot of confusion and angry tweets..
• Headline: Women Empowered: Divorce Trends in West Africa. Impact: The increase in divorces among women in conservative West Africa could lead to a ripple effect where more women start businesses, eventually resulting in a thriving economy. Who knew breaking up could lead to economic empowerment?. Fact: Did you know that in some cultures, getting a divorce is considered a rite of passage? In others, it's just a really awkward family gathering waiting to happen..
• Headline: Bolton Puts Conditions on Syria Withdrawal, Suggesting a Delay of Months or Years. Impact: Bolton’s conditions for withdrawing from Syria might just lead to a never-ending cycle of military presence. Imagine a future where tourists visit the 'Forever War' theme park where they can experience the thrill of confusion and chaos firsthand!. Fact: Did you know that military advisers are like that friend who always suggests going out when you're perfectly happy staying in? Except they have the power to send you halfway across the globe..
• Headline: How ‘Chappelle’s Show’ and ‘The Boondocks’ Kept Us Laughing at R. Kelly. Impact: The cultural commentary of 'Chappelle's Show' and 'The Boondocks' kept the public's attention on R. Kelly, which eventually led to a greater awareness of accountability in the entertainment industry—who knew humor could be a catalyst for social change?. Fact: Did you know that laughter is the best medicine? Unless you're R. Kelly's career, then it just becomes a really bad joke that everyone keeps telling even after it's no longer funny..