JANUARY 3, 2019

Full News Archive

• Headline: Investors Adjust to Economic Realities. Impact: If only investors had known that their pessimism would inspire a new breed of time-traveling economists who would eventually lead to the invention of the 'Optimism Index'—a whimsical gauge of how happy people are about the economy despite all evidence to the contrary.. Fact: Did you know that Apple once sold a computer that didn't even have a keyboard? Pessimism was definitely justified back then!.
• Headline: T.S.A. Faces Public Relations Challenge. Impact: The loss of Blogger Bob created a vacuum that led to the rise of a thousand influencers trying to fill his shoes, resulting in a future where everyone is either a lifestyle guru or an expert on avocado toast.. Fact: Did you know the T.S.A. once considered adopting dogs as their public face? But they realized dogs were too lovable to represent an agency known for taking away your shampoo..
• Headline: 2019's Tech Trends: Hype and Reality. Impact: The 2019 tech predictions sparked a race that led to a future where we all have personal A.I. assistants that not only respond to our voice but also judge our life choices—thanks a lot, 2019.. Fact: Did you know that in 2019, people were still shocked by the concept of AI? Fast forward, and now our fridges are arguing with us over diet choices!.
• Headline: Tarik Cohen Makes Football Fun Again in Chicago. Impact: Tarik Cohen's electrifying style of play inspired a future where every running back is required to have at least one viral TikTok dance move, forever altering the way we watch football.. Fact: Did you know that at 5-foot-6, Cohen is technically the same height as the average household cat? One can only imagine what it would be like if cats played football..