DECEMBER 8, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump Nominates William Barr for Attorney General. Impact: If Barr hadn't been nominated, perhaps Trump would have chosen a less controversial figure, leading to a more stable political climate. Or maybe a butterfly would have flapped its wings and caused a tornado in Texas. Who knows?. Fact: Did you know that Barr's nomination wasn't just a political move but also a way to make 'William' a popular name again? Just kidding, that was never going to happen..
• Headline: Uber and Lyft's IPO Race. Impact: The IPO wars between Uber and Lyft sparked a frenzy of startup investments, leading to a world where people thought it was perfectly normal to pay exorbitant amounts for a ride. Thanks, Uber, for making being late stylish!. Fact: Fun fact: Uber's IPO was so hyped that even your grandma thought about investing, right before deciding to stick with her beloved savings bonds..
• Headline: Men's Emotional Sharing Sessions. Impact: These men sharing feelings might just be the catalyst for a new wave of emotional vulnerability, leading to a society where men start crying openly in public. Grab your popcorn, folks, this is going to be entertaining!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'man up' is now being replaced with 'let's talk about our feelings'? Progress!.
• Headline: Live-Streaming Your Broke Self for Rent Money. Impact: Live-streaming for rent money could lead to a future where everyone is monetizing their lives, and privacy becomes a quaint concept from the past. Soon, we’ll be watching live streams of someone brushing their teeth for cash!. Fact: Did you know that this trend might actually inspire reality shows about people living in their parents' basements? The next big hit could be called 'Hoarding Hilarity'!.
• Headline: What These Medical Journals Don’t Reveal: Top Doctors’ Ties to Industry. Impact: The revelation of doctors' ties to industry could eventually lead to a complete overhaul of medical ethics, or just make everyone more suspicious of their doctors. 'So, do you prescribe that because it's best for me or because the drug company gave you a fancy pen?'. Fact: Did you know that some doctors have more connections to pharmaceutical companies than the average person has on LinkedIn? One might even say it's a networking event disguised as a medical conference!.