DECEMBER 1, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kareem Hunt's Controversial Release by Chiefs. Impact: Kareem Hunt's actions not only led to his downfall but also ignited a nationwide discussion on domestic violence in sports. This eventually resulted in stricter policies and even more players being benched for their off-field antics, leading to a league where athletes might one day be more known for their character than their stats. Or not.. Fact: Did you know that the NFL's response to domestic violence has been as effective as a screen door on a submarine? Yeah, real progress there..
• Headline: Trump's Trade War Strategy with China. Impact: With Michael Pillsbury whispering sweet nothings about trade strategies in Trump's ear, the global economy began to wobble like a toddler on roller skates. This set off a chain reaction of tariffs and trade wars that even the most paranoid conspiracy theorist couldn't have predicted.. Fact: Did you know that 'China Hawk' sounds way cooler than 'Guy Who Wants to Argue About Trade'? I mean, come on, where's the drama?.
• Headline: George Bush: A Legacy of Leadership. Impact: George Bush's death marked the end of an era, sealing the fate of political dynasties in America. It catalyzed a nostalgic revival of 90s politics that made everyone yearn for simpler times—when the biggest scandal was just a little bit of gaffing and not a full-blown reality show.. Fact: Did you know that George Bush once threw up on a Japanese prime minister? Truly, a moment that defines diplomacy like no other..
• Headline: The Marvelous Mr. Mackie. Impact: The newfound appreciation for Mr. Mackie created a ripple effect in the fashion world. Suddenly, every designer was scrambling to get a musical written about them, leading to a bizarre new trend of ‘Fashion Biopics’ that made the film industry question its sanity.. Fact: Did you know Cher once wore a dress made entirely of feathers? Because, why not? Clearly, practicality isn't her strong suit..
• Headline: And the Beat Goes On. Impact: The underground skate scene thriving despite rink closures became a symbol of resilience, inspiring future generations to embrace their passions regardless of the establishment's rules. This led to a rise in rebellious art movements and underground gatherings, proving that sometimes, the coolest stuff happens outside the rules.. Fact: Did you know that skating rinks have been closing faster than you can say 'corporate takeover'? But hey, who needs a legal venue when you can just roll with the punches?.