NOVEMBER 29, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump Considers Pardon for Manafort. Impact: If Trump hadn't floated the idea of a pardon, who knows? Maybe we'd have a reality where Manafort became a motivational speaker instead of a political pariah, inspiring future politicians to pursue less questionable side hustles.. Fact: Did you know that in the world of political pardons, the phrase 'treated poorly' translates to 'not being able to avoid prison like a cat with nine lives'?.
• Headline: The Great Photo Purge of 2019. Impact: This event marked the beginning of the age where people started to realize that their vacation pictures might be more endangered than actual endangered species. Next thing you know, there are support groups for lost selfies.. Fact: Did you know that hiding photos in the 'cloud' is actually just a clever way of saying 'I have no idea where they went'?.
• Headline: Tekashi 6ix9ine: Rise and Fall. Impact: This event set a precedent for future rappers: if you want to stay relevant, just make sure your life is more dramatic than a soap opera, complete with plot twists that would make even Shakespeare raise an eyebrow.. Fact: Did you know that Tekashi 6ix9ine's hair color is the only thing more shocking than his life choices?.
• Headline: After a Hiatus, China Accelerates Cyberspying Efforts to Obtain U.S. Technology. Impact: If this keeps up, we might end up with a technology race that’s less about innovation and more about who can create the best firewalls while binge-watching spy thrillers.. Fact: Did you know that in the world of international relations, 'cyberspying' is just a fancy term for 'I swear I was just checking my emails'?.